Remember Tuesday Tips? I collected my weekly lessons and realizations into a tidy blog post divided into the categories Doing, Thinking, Feeling and Being. Then Kelly distilled the whole effort into a book called—what else?—Doing Thinking Feeling Being.
I took a break from publishing my epiphanies for the last couple years to get some perspective on blogging. I was tired of telling people what to do, and needed to spend more time listening.
But enough of that! Gathering the things I learn into a weekly blog post is a great way to synthesize information and I get excited about it! I present to you a new generation of Tuesday Tips: I Love Mondays! This weekly column on SchoolOfLifeDesign.com is your regular dose of unsolicited advice from your favorite psychedelic space witch. Without further ado, here are this week's arrangement of good ideas, organized into the oh-so-encompassing categories of Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual!
1. Ask yourself, "What if this were my last day?"
That's it baby, today's the day! You're not waking up tomorrow! So how will you spend your time? If you'd be doing a lot of things differently, then gtfo the Internet and go tell people you love them! But honestly, you don't have to change a thing—you can just bring your attention into the present moment where everything is fun and there's nothing to worry about.
It's like life is one long acid trip. Nowhere to go and nothing to do unless inspiration strikes, with all the rest of the time spent admiring the fucking miracle that is right in front of our faces, Right. Now. You don't have to worry about changing everything to Live Your Best Life, you can just BE HERE NOW! What a relief, right?
What about your current situation would you enjoy and appreciate knowing you would never experience it again?
2. This is what a wealthy woman looks like.
Spotted in Gala Darling's Insta story, the instruction was to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "This is what a wealthy woman looks like." Try looking at yourself like that. It can change your perspective and help you see yourself in a more abundant light.
Draw a picture of yourself. Underneath the picture, write "This is what a wealthy person looks like."
3. Act like your favorite version of yourself.
I record meditation videos about 20 minutes a week. During those 20 minutes, I am wise, I am beautiful, I am patient, I am kind and I am loving. But the rest of the time?! Not quite so perfect. But when I consciously remember to breathe and listen to my intuition, I can make any moment meditative. I can be patient with anything. I am deciding to be that person all of the time now. And so it is!
When are you your favorite version of yourself?
4. Acknowledge and own your unconscious desires.
You guys you guys you guys this article by Carolyn Elliot on 10 Ways that Shadow Work Sky-Rockets Your Manifestation Results really changed my life. To think, all the shit I hate about my life, I actually unconsciously desire! And when I acknowledge that a part of me WANTS what's happening, I feel like I'm getting what I wanted! And then I'm projecting a signal of getting what I want! And then I get what I CONSCIOUSLY want! It's a miracle! I don't even care about the manifestation part—I'm just so relieved to get my power back!
When I am displeased with my life situation, I acknowledge that an unconscious part of me desires the circumstance. The instant I notice an unpleasant emotion, I think: "I must have an unconscious desire for this." And once I notice my unconscious desire, I see reasons why I would want it. I see I am receiving what I wanted. I see that life always provides. I see that my deepest wishes are being granted. I am a fulfilled person, "whose deepest desire is being totally and graciously met"!
Is there something in your life that you want to change? What unconscious desire do you have that might be bringing it about? (E.g., desire for scarcity, drama, grudges, pain, etc.) Celebrate this desire! Give it love!
5. What is becoming more clear?
A journaling trick from my life coach Cory Thomsen, asking yourself "What is becoming more clear" can open a channel to the wisdom of your higher self.
What is becoming more clear to me: I have the power to shift my perspective in every moment. It's all a choice. When I see things aren't the way I want, all I gotta do is ask myself what DO I want?! And when I catch myself comparing myself to others, I remember to be a (in Cardi B's words) "'If she can do it, I can do it' type bitch!"
6. Notice abundance in these four areas: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical.
Gala Darling did a hot talk about abundance and had the audience focus on noticing and visualizing abundance in these four areas, not just money. What would totally fulfilling abundance look like in all these areas for you? What abundance do you already have in these categories? Notice all the abundance you already have, and you'll find more. Then visualize the abundance you want, so you can place your order with the universe!
7. Change "should" to "prefer".
A tip from a therapist I met recently: any time you notice yourself saying, "You should be doing this!" or, "I should have done this!" change it to "I prefer you to do this" or "I prefer myself to do something else." It will help you see that you are trying to control reality, and that it's just your preferences causing you to react emotionally. It's just your ego who wants specific things. But you don't have to listen to your ego. You can surrender your preferences and accept things the way they are. Then you start projecting a feeling of "totally fulfilled" instead of lack, and the thing you don't prefer can pass on out of your experience.
Where in your life have you been "shoulding"? What does it feel like to prefer instead?
8. Relax into the pain.
In The Unthethered Soul, Michael Singer reminds us that emotional pain isn't scary, and we don't have to fight it or hide from it. We can just notice our pain and let it pass through us, instead of running from it and burying it inside. It's just pain. It's not evil. You can handle it. Relax into the pain and you'll transmute it into heightened awareness. I knew that "thoughts are things" but I hadn’t realized that emotions are things, too. You can just relax and let the emotions pass as easily as thoughts. Take your power back!
Notice where you've been going unconscious—maybe with food, alcohol or TV. What is the pain you're avoiding feeling? Relax your muscles and draw a picture of the pain. Feel your pain.
Have you ever tried EFT, aka Tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique? Every time I try it, it WORKS. Really well. Here is a guide if you're so inclined. First, identify what is wrong, like, "I'm procrastinating." Then toss it into this sentence: "Even though______, I still totally and completely love and accept myself." Ask yourself on a scale of 1-10, how uncomfortable are you about the situation? Then get to tapping and repeating your phrase, "Even though I'm procrastinating, I still totally and completely love and accept myself." After the first round of tapping, re-rate your discomfort. Start the cycle again. Keep going until you get to 0. POOF! Your issue is resolved!
10. Who am I that notices?
Another Michael Singer pro tip! When you're feeling less than your best, ask yourself, "Who am I that notices this?" This technique shifts your perspective from mind-identified, into the position of infinite awareness that rests behind your thoughts.
11. It's all a gift.
As I talked to my friend Ojas about Burning Man last week, I remembered the truth: It's all a gift. Ojas described all these irritations that in the past would be "things going wrong" but now he could see how they were perfect for him in the moment. Every time something "goes wrong," you can flip your perspective and see how it is a gift, helping you on your journey. It's all a gift. Use the mantra “Yes! Thank you!” to keep yourself open to receiving.
What are some things in your life you are saying YES! to right now?
What are some things in your life you are saying THANK YOU! to right now?
We received these "Daily Love" meditation cards from a friend. The first one that caught my eye said "Savor". It really made an impression, because I'm always seeking pleasure through food, drugs, and touch, then racing to the next dopamine-releasing circumstance. I intend to spend more time savoring the pleasure I already have, which can be everywhere when I look for it.
What things do you rush through that you could begin savoring?
13. For all my sober spirits out there…
As you may have noticed, I am sober from alcohol and have been for over 640 days. Kelly thought it would be a good idea to start collecting the "getting sober" stories from our friends and put them in a zine. It would help so many people! If you have a story about getting sober, or what role sobriety plays in your life, please email me. We'll include your story and any images you attach. Thanks for playing, and thanks for loving Mondays with us!